Saturday, January 22, 2022

covid-19

CDC Recommends Covering Tucker Carlson’s Face With Your Fists

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Fox White Supremacist News host Tucker Carlson doesn't want Americans wearing masks anymore, and he's even gone so far as to suggest that people should call child protective services if they see a kid wearing a...

Now That’s She’s Been Struck By a Car, Sarah Palin Supports Crosswalks

Former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin OAN this morning that she "just takes a little longer than normal people" to process and understand basic concepts. During her interview, Palin not only addressed her recent COVID-19 diagnosis and message to...

Report: Nobody Cares What This Tubby Shitdick Thinks About the Pandemic He Downplayed Anymore

Apparently, the most recently vacated occupant of the Oval Office was extremely upset and unnerved by interviews Doctors Anthony Fauci and Deborah Birx gave to CNN recently. His upset and angst over their direct insinuation that his incompetence, ego,...

Biden Thanks Trump for Nearly Spelling ‘Vaccine’ Right on Operation Warp Speed Documents

"I suppose it could've been a lot worse if the scientists hadn't known what he meant by 'VACKSEEN.'"

Texas Gov. Signs Bill Requiring Texans to Remove Their Masks and Tongue Kiss a Covid Patient

The law also contains a provision that forces Democrats to get "666" tattoos from unmasked, covid positive tattoo artists.

Rich Guy Taking Six Figure Paycheck From Taxpayers Wonders If Taxpayers Need More Stimulus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Ron Penis (Q-WI) told his colleagues on both sides of the aisle today that he's not sure anybody in America needs another stimulus payment from the U.S. government. Citing the current level of the U.S....

Nation’s Airports Suffering From Revolutionary War Travel Numbers

DENVER, COLORADO --  A recent study done on our nation’s airports have painted a very dismal picture. According to the "2020 Study on Passenger Travel Statistics", United States airports reported the least amount of traffic since the height of...

Trump Claims Pfizer and Moderna ‘Had Never Even Heard of Vaccines’ Until He Told Them to Make One

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Since the end of 2019, the entire planet has been trying to work around and fight against the novel coronavirus, or COVID-19. A global pandemic outbreak has rattled the global economy and in the United States...

Selfish Fuck Oppressed by Polite Request to Wear Face Mask in Public

ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG TOWN, TEXAS -- Scott Scooterson is a self-described "selfish fuck." It's important to understand that, Scott says, if you're going to be his friend, or associate with him in any way. "I always, always look out for myself...

Bill Gates Offers to Buy and Delete Elon Musk

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Billionaire tech titan Bill Gates is reportedly close to making one of the biggest offers of his life to another another billionaire in his same industry, Elon Musk. According to several sources close to Mr. Gates,...
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Matt Walsh is Thinking Very Deeply About Your Genitals. Just Like Jesus.

This week, Daily Caller columnist and podcaster Matt Walsh -- a devout evangelical Christian conservative -- appeared on The Dr. Phil...
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