Thursday, December 8, 2022

FuckTrump

Total Moron Who Screeches About Socialism Asks Authoritarian Communists for Help

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A titanically stupid idiot, who happens to also be President of the United States for a little while longer, apparently, has been screeching incessantly about how he's the only politician who can save America from socialism....

Eric Trump Tells Fox News 95% of Unicorn Breeders Support His Father

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- In an interview on Fox News, President Donald Trump's smartest son not named Barron or Donald Jr. told viewers this morning that "well over 95% of unicorn breeders" in America support his father and...

Mexico Agrees to Pay For Stephen Miller’s Hair Plugs

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador dropped what could be a bombshell announcement on the world today, partially reversing a policy that has been in place in his country since Vladimir Putin appointed Donald Trump President...

Fox News Worried About Integrity of Trump’s “Worldwide News Network”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- During a conference call with shareholders this morning, a Fox News executive expressed concerns about a new "worldwide news network," run by the government, which was proposed in a tweet by President Donald Trump. Mr....

Trump Had Special Presidential Crayons Made For Answering Mueller Questions

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For months, FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller has been wrangling the president for a sit-down interview, on the record, about Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election, as well as any obstruction of justice that may...

Trump Says He Gave Stan Lee Inspiration For His Iconic “SuperSpiderHulkThing” Character

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, the comic book world lost one of its most influential and important figures -- Marvel founder Stan Lee. President Donald Trump was asked about Lee as he ate lunch in the Oval Office, and he...

Trump Demands Paul Ryan Institute Electoral College Rules For 2018 Midterm Results

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, having taken in the whole breadth and scope of the 2018 mid-term election results, has sent a "high urgency, bigly important" notice to outgoing Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI), demanding that...

Huckabee Sanders Wonders If Bomb At Soros Home ‘Really As Bad’ As Her Being Shouted At In Public

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Outside the White House this morning, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was stopped by reporters and asked about the story that broke this morning involving a bomb being found in a mailbox outside the home of...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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