Wednesday, September 28, 2022

funny fake news

Cruz Will Insist That Congress Certify He Has an Ugly Wife and No Balls

This story first appeared on The Pastiche Post and is reprinted with permission. Before the 2016 presidential race, Ted Cruz had a wife named Heidi whose looks had never been the subject of discussion, let alone debate. However, during that campaign, then-candidate...

Trump Asks SCOTUS to Force States to Count Votes Using Three-Fifths Compromise

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The failing Donald Trump re-election campaign has filed an emergency motion with the Supreme Court of the United States of America, asking the highest court in the country to dictate to all fifty states how to...

Crews Greasing Door Hinges In Case Trump Has to be Pushed Out of White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether he wants to leave or not, by the end of January, once Joe Biden is sworn-in as the 46th President of the United States, Donald Trump will have to leave the White House. In case...

Mob Storms Local Taco Bell Demanding Mexican Pizzas

FORT PHARDT, INDIANA -- An angry, maksed mob appeared at a local Taco Bell this week and demanded scores of Mexican Pizzas, which will be leaving the Taco Bell menu for good in a matter of weeks. MORE: CDC Releases...

Town Shocked to Discover Local Pious Man Actually Just Raging Hypocrite

EL OSO GRANDE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A small mountain town nestled in the mountains in Southern California was rocked this week by a scandal that one local told us they "never could have seen coming." MORE: Local Karen Reports 18...

Mickey and Minnie Mouse Sue Disney After Being Hospitalized With COVID-19 Symptoms

WHORELANDO, FLORIDA -- In what can surely be described as a truly unforeseen turn of events, Mickey and Minnie Mouse have files papers in Florida district court, suing their employer. MORE: Redskins Rename Themselves to Honor Those Offended by Team’s...

CDC Suggests Chronic Masturbators Replace Regular Lube With Hand Sanitizer

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Doctors with the Centers for Disease Control issued new guidance this morning, urging those who chronically masturbate to "immediately consider" replacing their normal "jack lube" with "an antimicrobial or hand sanitizer" until the COVID-19 outbreak has...

Local Perv Weighs Risk of Breaking Coronavirus Quarantine to Watch You Shower Anyway

LA VALLE SIN ROPA, CALIFORNIA -- Nate Robertson is a 45 year old self-described "perv" whose biggest thrill in life is watching you take a shower. The key, he says, is you not knowing he's watching you take a...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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