Saturday, April 10, 2021

Ron Johnson: “I Shouldn’t Have to Take My Hood and Robes Off to Prove I’m not Racist!”

"What makes me racist is my racist views of non-white people! But I didn't even say any of that stuff on the radio last week!"
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Biden Directs Space Force to Stop Its ‘McDonald’s on the Moon’ Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Space Force will no longer be developing a plan to install a McDonald's fast food franchise on Earth's moon. This new...

Mob Storms Local Taco Bell Demanding Mexican Pizzas

FORT PHARDT, INDIANA -- An angry, maksed mob appeared at a local Taco Bell this week and demanded scores of Mexican Pizzas, which will...

Town Shocked to Discover Local Pious Man Actually Just Raging Hypocrite

EL OSO GRANDE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A small mountain town nestled in the mountains in Southern California was rocked this week by a scandal...

Mickey and Minnie Mouse Sue Disney After Being Hospitalized With COVID-19 Symptoms

WHORELANDO, FLORIDA -- In what can surely be described as a truly unforeseen turn of events, Mickey and Minnie Mouse have files papers in...

Babylon Bee Writer Laughing At “Blazing Saddles” for All The Wrong Reasons

Beau McGriff has been writing for the website known as The Babylon Bee for a few months now. Fresh out of seminary school, Beau applied to...

CDC Study Shows Wearing a Mask Reduces Spreading Selfish Douchebaggery by 100%

HOTLANTA, GEORGIA -- Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention just released a new study that they are hoping "settles and puts...

Quarantine Panic! Man Already Masturbated to Everything on Pornhub That Doesn’t Involve Incest

STROHK LAKE, CALIFORNIA -- "Wait. Son of a bitch! I've gone in a circle jerk!" John Puhdzingert's roommate recalls that the words, in her words,...

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