Sunday, February 28, 2021

Nation’s Airports Suffering From Revolutionary War Travel Numbers

DENVER, COLORADO --  A recent study done on our nation’s airports have painted a very dismal picture. According to the "2020 Study on Passenger...
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Basic White Woman Who’s Never Interacted With Cops Against Defunding Them

LAS ESTUPIDAS BLANCAS, CALIFORNIA -- 38 year old cosmetics consultant Christiana Vacaciones says she has "many black friends" and that none of them have...

Selfish Fuck Oppressed by Polite Request to Wear Face Mask in Public

ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG TOWN, TEXAS -- Scott Scooterson is a self-described "selfish fuck." It's important to understand that, Scott says, if you're going to be...

Man Is ‘Blown Away’ How Much ‘It Stinks’ That His Girlfriend Can’t Stop Farting During Quarantine

BROWN CLOUD, CALIFORNIA -- He says that there is "absolutely no chance" of it breaking them up, but that doesn't mean 37 year old...

Local Man Pretty Sure He Can Convince Himself to Masturbate

SPAYNK RIVER BANK, MISSOURI -- In a sleepy town located on the banks of a lesser-known American river in the Show Me State, Johann...

Report: Ow! Fuck! Pins and Needles!

GREEN PORT, LOUISIANA -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that screams and shrieks were heard from the vicinity of 476 Thomas Rd...

Participants Agree Zoom Orgy Only 30% Less Creepy Than In-Person One

Participants in an orgy via the group video chat app "Zoom" told our reporter afterward that it was only about 30% less creepy to...

Local Couple: Sex Was Really Good Until Husband Got Involved

DISAPPOINTMENT GULCH, ARIZONA -- In an interview with Couples Weekly, Tabitha and Mick Garrison -- married since August 2002 -- said that their recent...

Local Woman Totally Judging What’s In Your Coronavirus Quarantine Preparation Shopping Cart

BECKY FALLS, MINNESOTA -- 43-year old Christina "Christy" Tomjanovich is judging the ever loving hell out of that shopping cart you're pushing. To be...

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