Tuesday, December 7, 2021

impeach Trump

Enormous Rug and 51 Brooms Delivered to Senate Chamber

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that an enormous rug and 51 brooms have been delivered to the Senate chamber in the nation's capital this afternoon. It's unclear at this time exactly what the rug...

Cruz: “You Know What? My Wife is an Ugly She-Beast. My Dad Did Try to Kill JFK. Trump Is Totally Innocent.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's highly likely that no one on the Hill has been all that surprised by how the impeachment trial of President Donald John Trump has transpired in the Senate thus far. Despite House managers laying out...

Barack Obama and Merrick Garland Not Buying Mitch McConnell’s Bullshit

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former President Barack Obama and Federal Judge Merrick Garland have released a statement, following Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's speech on the Senate floor, decrying the impeachment of President Donald Trump. Senator McConnell, in a long-winded speech,...

Lindsey Graham: “You Can’t Impeach Trump Until I Stop Blowing Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina may have, at some point, not been a huge fan of President Donald Trump. Those days, however, are long gone, and for the past year or more, Graham has been...

Mitch McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside the rotunda today that he's "sick and tired of the Democrats treating President Trump like he's President Obama." McConnell said that "obstructing Democrat presidents is the solemn duty...

Man Burning Cross in MAGA Hat Says Democrats Are the ‘Real Racists’

WALLACE, GEORGIA -- A man in a MAGA hat burning a cross on the lawn of his black neighbor is not a racist, he says. "You know who the real racists are? The Democrats, that's who," the man tells us...

Trump to Give Himself Purple Heart for Getting Ego Bruised by Impeachment Proceedings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a closed-door deposition today, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman gave what some are calling damning testimony regarding the call between President Donald Trump and a newly elected Ukrainian president this summer. The call, in which Trump attempted...

Matt Gaetz Blows .18 on Breathalyzer After Barging Into Closed Door Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shortly after he and several other Congressional Republicans broke into a closed door impeachment hearing, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) was administered a breathalyzer and reportedly the results revealed a blood-alcohol content of .18. In most states,...

President Orders James Madison Arrested for Plotting Coup Against Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has issued a direct order to the Justice Department, demanding that the FBI "find, arrest, and prosecute for treason" James Madison. Mr. Trump is accusing Madison of being the "mastermind" behind an attempted...
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Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...
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