Friday, January 27, 2023

Jesus Christ

Jesus Can’t Figure Out Why American Christians Want to Starve Children They Force Into Life

Speaking to reporters at his weekly press conference, Jesus Hubert Christ was asked for his opinions on a leaked Supreme Court opinion indicating the conservative majority is poised to overturn Roe Vs Wade. Christ reiterated that he, as a general...

Matt Walsh is Thinking Very Deeply About Your Genitals. Just Like Jesus.

This week, Daily Caller columnist and podcaster Matt Walsh -- a devout evangelical Christian conservative -- appeared on The Dr. Phil Show and got into a heated exchange with transgender rights activists, including two transgender women. Walsh repeatedly asserted that the women...

Jesus Now Requires a Vaccine Passport to Enter Heaven

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- If you're going to die soon, and if when you do you expect to wind up in Heaven, you better bring your vaccination records with you. At a press conference held from outside the bounds...

Jesus H. Christ: “Joel Osteen is a Disgusting Capitalist Fuck Giblet”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry "God" Schumway and Vice President of Holy Trinity, Inc., did not mince any words today. "Joel Osteen? You want my feelings on Joel Osteen, the megachurch guy," Christ asked at a...

Horny Jesus Reminds You He’s Also the Reason for the Squeezin’

SEXXXY HEAVEN -- Horny Jesus Christ, the super-sexed-up version of the character from the bestselling fantasy fiction series "The Whore-y Bible," which is an edition of the Bible that features sexualized stories from the scripture, told the world today...

Jesus Sees Image of Potato Chip in Bathroom Mirror

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This weekend, Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Trinity, Inc's CEO Larry "God" Schumway, was brushing his holy teeth, and saw something he told friends and colleagues was "really crazy" and that he'd never seen...

Area Woman Asks Jesus to Protect Trump. Jesus Says No

Topeka, KS -- Karen Waters of Topeka, Kansas prays daily for the safety and security of Donald Trump. Ms. Waters, a born-again evangelical Christian, asked Jesus this past week to watch over the President and protect him from the forces...
- Advertisement -spot_img

Latest News

God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
- Advertisement -spot_img