Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Jim Jordan

Fauci Gives Jordan Proctologist Referral So His Head Can Be Safely Pulled Out

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite clashing earlier during a congressional hearing, Dr. Anthony Fauci has reportedly given a referral to Rep. Jim Jordan (Q-Gym Showers) so he can see a proctologist and "have his head fully and completely removed." "I noticed...

Trump To Give Jordan and Nunes Presidential Medal of Having a Purty Mouth

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are just barely over two weeks left in his presidential career, and Donald Trump has been acting like it at times lately. Though he's still doing everything he can to overturn the results of the election...

Jordan and Gaetz Say Trump Won Because They ‘Wouldn’t Blow Just Any Old Loser’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The results of last month's presidential haven't really been in much doubt since just a couple of days after votes started to be counted. Because some states were forbidden by laws enacted by Republican officials, mail-in votes...

Matt Gaetz Blows .18 on Breathalyzer After Barging Into Closed Door Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shortly after he and several other Congressional Republicans broke into a closed door impeachment hearing, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) was administered a breathalyzer and reportedly the results revealed a blood-alcohol content of .18. In most states,...

Jim Jordan: “We Can’t Impeach Trump Before We Impeach Joe Biden”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that he "absolutely does not and will not ever" support the impeachment of President Donald J. Trump. "Look, I don't care if he shoots my mother on 5th Avenue. I...
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Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...
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