Friday, August 19, 2022

Matt Gaetz

Matt Gaetz is Boycotting Disney and Will Take His Prom Date to SeaWorld Instead

https://youtu.be/pgjLMM60YNw This week, Florida's governor signed a controversial law onto the books that bars discussions of sexual orientation or identity in classrooms from kindergarten to third grade. The so-called "Don't Say Gay" law also makes it illegal to have "age...

Op-Ed: “My Genitals Are Microscopic and It’s All George Soros’ Fault!”

The following editorial was submitted by the office of Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL). The views and opinions expressed herein are of that of Rep. Gaetz, the QAnon Cult, a certain twice-impeached reality-TV dipshit, and maybe Steve Bannon if Matt's...

ISIS Agrees With Matt Gaetz: Murdering Americans is Okay

Last night at a rally in Georgia with fellow Republican Congresswoman and Qu Qlux Qlan co-founder Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz implied that angry conservative Americans should take up arms against social media companies for being mean to...

Gaetz Wants First Amendment Expanded to Protect Facebook Accounts and Trafficking Minors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, Facebook's Oversight Board gave the social media titan the go-ahead to continue former President Donald J. Trump's permanent suspension. If Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) gets his way, though, Facebook will be forced to allow...

Roy Moore and Matt Gaetz Announce 2024 Run as President and VP

"You know us; we like to get in there as early as possible."

Gaetz Will Deliver Commencement Address for Trump High School’s 2021 Graduating Class

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- Despite a recent scandal that has yet to resolve itself, Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) is still a very highly sought-after figure in MAGA country. Just this week, Gaetz announced that he would be speaking at...

Gaetz to Play Woody Allen in New Biopic

Gaetz released a statement thanking Epstein Pictures for the gig, and promising to put his "blood, sweat, tears, and genitals into the role."

Gaetz Plans to Fuck a Mrs. Potato Head While Reading Racist Dr. Seuss Books to Own the Libs

He's had it up to here with cancel culture, and Matt Gaetz is going to do the only thing he knows how in order to stop it: embarrassing himself.

Jordan and Gaetz Say Trump Won Because They ‘Wouldn’t Blow Just Any Old Loser’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The results of last month's presidential haven't really been in much doubt since just a couple of days after votes started to be counted. Because some states were forbidden by laws enacted by Republican officials, mail-in votes...

Matt Gaetz Pledges to Slur, Stammer, and Drunkenly Stand Behind Trump on January 6th

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On January 6th, 2021, Congress will meet to do one of the very last things required to transfer power to a new, incoming president and will certify the Electoral College results. Those results will show that...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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