Saturday, April 10, 2021

Ron Johnson: “I Shouldn’t Have to Take My Hood and Robes Off to Prove I’m not Racist!”

"What makes me racist is my racist views of non-white people! But I didn't even say any of that stuff on the radio last week!"
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Matt Gaetz

Roy Moore and Matt Gaetz Announce 2024 Run as President and VP

"You know us; we like to get in there as early as possible."

Gaetz Will Deliver Commencement Address for Trump High School’s 2021 Graduating Class

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- Despite a recent scandal that has yet to resolve itself, Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) is still a very highly sought-after...

Gaetz to Play Woody Allen in New Biopic

Gaetz released a statement thanking Epstein Pictures for the gig, and promising to put his "blood, sweat, tears, and genitals into the role."

Gaetz Plans to Fuck a Mrs. Potato Head While Reading Racist Dr. Seuss Books to Own the Libs

He's had it up to here with cancel culture, and Matt Gaetz is going to do the only thing he knows how in order to stop it: embarrassing himself.

Jordan and Gaetz Say Trump Won Because They ‘Wouldn’t Blow Just Any Old Loser’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The results of last month's presidential haven't really been in much doubt since just a couple of days after votes started...

Matt Gaetz Pledges to Slur, Stammer, and Drunkenly Stand Behind Trump on January 6th

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On January 6th, 2021, Congress will meet to do one of the very last things required to transfer power to a...

Gaetz Says He Has Proof of Deep State Coup Against Trump Enlisting 80 Million American Voters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the nation's most accomplished functional alcoholics says he has obtained "solid, irrefutable proof" that a Deep State coup took...

Matt Gaetz Blows .18 on Breathalyzer After Barging Into Closed Door Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shortly after he and several other Congressional Republicans broke into a closed door impeachment hearing, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) was administered...

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