Saturday, April 10, 2021
Politics

Ron Johnson: “I Shouldn’t Have to Take My Hood and Robes Off to Prove I’m not Racist!”

James Schlarmann - 0
"What makes me racist is my racist views of non-white people! But I didn't even say any of that stuff on the radio last week!"
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Matt Gaetz

Politics

Roy Moore and Matt Gaetz Announce 2024 Run as President and VP

James Schlarmann - 0
"You know us; we like to get in there as early as possible."
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LIfestyle

Gaetz Will Deliver Commencement Address for Trump High School’s 2021 Graduating Class

James Schlarmann - 0
LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- Despite a recent scandal that has yet to resolve itself, Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) is still a very highly sought-after...
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Entertainment

Gaetz to Play Woody Allen in New Biopic

James Schlarmann - 0
Gaetz released a statement thanking Epstein Pictures for the gig, and promising to put his "blood, sweat, tears, and genitals into the role."
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Politics

Gaetz Plans to Fuck a Mrs. Potato Head While Reading Racist Dr. Seuss Books to Own the Libs

James Schlarmann - 0
He's had it up to here with cancel culture, and Matt Gaetz is going to do the only thing he knows how in order to stop it: embarrassing himself.
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Politics

Jordan and Gaetz Say Trump Won Because They ‘Wouldn’t Blow Just Any Old Loser’

James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The results of last month's presidential haven't really been in much doubt since just a couple of days after votes started...
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LIfestyle

Matt Gaetz Pledges to Slur, Stammer, and Drunkenly Stand Behind Trump on January 6th

James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On January 6th, 2021, Congress will meet to do one of the very last things required to transfer power to a...
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Politics

Gaetz Says He Has Proof of Deep State Coup Against Trump Enlisting 80 Million American Voters

James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the nation's most accomplished functional alcoholics says he has obtained "solid, irrefutable proof" that a Deep State coup took...
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News

Matt Gaetz Blows .18 on Breathalyzer After Barging Into Closed Door Impeachment Hearing

James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shortly after he and several other Congressional Republicans broke into a closed door impeachment hearing, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) was administered...
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