Friday, March 31, 2023

politicalsatire

Robinhood Files Paperwork to Change Its Name to “SheriffofNottingham.”

SWILLY CORN, VALLEY -- Online brokerage trader Robinhood filed emergency paperwork with the Securities and Exchange Commission today, requesting an immediate change of their registered corporate name. The SEC is expected to approve the paperwork in short order, according...

Trump Asks Ukraine to Dig Up Dirt on Sean Spicer’s Dancing With the Stars Rivals

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump is no stranger to needing help to win elections. He couldn't win in 2016 without the help of Russian interference. His entire presidency is being imperiled at the moment because of his...

Trump Reminds China It’s His Job to Stifle Black American Athletes’ Free Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump sent a strongly worded letter, addressed simply "2 CHINA," urging them to quit pressuring the National Basketball Association, its teams, and its players, into stifling criticism of their policies toward Hong Kong. Over...

Trey Gowdy: “How Can You Impeach Trump When He Wasn’t Even Involved in Benghazi?”

AMOR DU COUSIN, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Former Congressman Trey Gowdy is no stranger to fights between the Executive and Legislative branches of the U.S. government. While Barack Obama was president, Gowdy spearheaded more than one multimillion dollar investigation into...

Congressman Argues It Should Be Unconstitutional to ‘Tattle’ On a President For His Unconstitutional Acts

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Tom Thompaulsen, being interviewed on ABC radio this morning, told the American public that in his mind, whistleblowing is "tattling" and tattling on a president's unconstitutional behavior should be deemed unconstitutional instead. "How many of us were told...

New York to Rename Public Toilet After Trump

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Perhaps to quiet a growing controversy, and make amends with the most powerful and small handed man in the free world, officials in New York City have reached out to the White House and...

Total Moron Who Screeches About Socialism Asks Authoritarian Communists for Help

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A titanically stupid idiot, who happens to also be President of the United States for a little while longer, apparently, has been screeching incessantly about how he's the only politician who can save America from socialism....

President Says People Should Get His Permission Before They Tell the Public About His Multiple Abuses of Power

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It is not a secret on the Hill that President Donald J. Trump is furious at the whistleblower whose report of his call with the new Ukrainian president is at the center of an impeachment investigation...

Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?

The President of the United States is currently the subject of an active impeachment inquiry. As most Americans know, however, the United States isn't a country made up of a government comprised of three wholly separate and equal branches...

Richard Nixon Sends His Articles of Impeachment to Nancy Pelosi ‘To Save Some Time’

THE LAKE OF FIRE, HELL, ETERNITY -- At a press conference from the afterlife, former President Richard Nixon announced that he will be sending, via Hellacious Express, a copy of his Articles of Impeachment to Speaker of the House...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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