Friday, August 19, 2022

pro-choice

Jesus Can’t Figure Out Why American Christians Want to Starve Children They Force Into Life

Speaking to reporters at his weekly press conference, Jesus Hubert Christ was asked for his opinions on a leaked Supreme Court opinion indicating the conservative majority is poised to overturn Roe Vs Wade. Christ reiterated that he, as a general...

Rapist Looking to Settle Down and Start a Family Grateful for Florida’s New Abortion Ban

He's known for a little while that he's ready to settle down and start a family. At 32 years of age, Chad Palumbo says he's done sewing his wild oats, and wants to have some kids. For most self-described...

Supreme Court To Carefully Consider Pros, Cons Of Forcing Teens to Have Fathers’ Rape Babies

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the first time in decades, the United States Supreme Court will hear oral arguments this morning in a case that could have a transformative effect on abortion rights in America. Since 1973, every woman living in...

Texas Man’s Jizz Sock Reports Him to Abortion Tip Line

CARGA DE BOLAS, TEAXS --When Gov. Greg Abbott signed Texas' new draconian abortion restriction into law last week, it's not very likely that he could have foreseen a case like this one. "Look, did I wanna report Chuck? Of course...

Texas Opens Tampon Cemetery for Grieving Almost Mothers

ATWOOD COUNTY, TEXAS-- The State of Texas has contracted with a city's cemetery to provide burial plots for used tampons. "Here in Texas we value all life, which is obvious because of our new fetal heartbeat abortion ban," State Rep....

TX Governor Signs Law Affirming Life Begins at Erection

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Gov. Greg Abbott (Q-TX) signed a law today that makes seeking or obtaining an abortion after the point of erection illegal. "It is with great pride, and a solemn commitment to protecting the life of the unborn...

Experts Say Arkansas Abortion Ban Could Mean State Sees 100,000% Increase in Cousin-Siblings

"A scenario that forces every pregnancy to full-term could cause the incestual American population in the state to absolutely, positively explode."

Poll: 90% of Americans Support Inventing Time Travel to Convince Ted Cruz’s Mom to Be Pro-Choice

"In this country, you can't get this kind of agreement on the wetness of water."

Study Shows 10 Out of 10 People Against Abortion Never Have to Get One

A new study just recently published indicates that for every ten people who oppose abortion, ten are not required by any laws to have one. The study, conducted by Common Sense Polling in collaboration with No Duh Data Solutions, shows that fully 100%...

Alabama Republicans Propose New State Miscarriage Investigation Unit

STONEWALL COUNTY, ALABAMA -- Just a couple of weeks after Alabama's governor signed a sweeping, abortion ban into law, Republican legislators in her state have proposed an amendment to the law that would earmark $15 million to create a...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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