Saturday, October 1, 2022

Religious Right

Jesus Now Requires a Vaccine Passport to Enter Heaven

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- If you're going to die soon, and if when you do you expect to wind up in Heaven, you better bring your vaccination records with you. At a press conference held from outside the bounds...

Town Shocked to Discover Local Pious Man Actually Just Raging Hypocrite

EL OSO GRANDE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A small mountain town nestled in the mountains in Southern California was rocked this week by a scandal that one local told us they "never could have seen coming." MORE: Local Karen Reports 18...

Evangelicals for Trump Releases List of “10 Best Pussy Grabbin’ Moments From The Bible”

It's no big secret that one key to the political success of Donald Trump has been his ability to count on the support of evangelical Christian conservatives come election time. Some might raise an eyebrow at a man who...

Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's a day that many in this country thought would never come, but nevertheless has arrived and given all Americans hope for the emergence of a new day, the dawning of a new era as with...

Conservative Christian: Rape Pregnancies Are ‘Just God Putting One In You’

CHARLESTON, W. VIRGINIA -- In 2015, West Virginia Delegate Brian Kurcaba (R) made some eyebrows climb in the national media when he said that while "rape is awful" there is a potential upside to it. "What is beautiful is the child that could...

God Orders Recall of Bibles Autographed by Trump

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Larry "God" Schumway has announced an immediate and emergency recall of every Bible signed by President Donald Trump during his recent visit to tornado victims in Alabama. Schumay, President and CEO of Holy Trinity, Inc.,...

President Trump Says He Regrets Every Abortion He Paid For, and the Don Jr. He Didn’t

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative Political Action Conference -- and gave a long-winded, rambling, often times off-script and freewheeling speech that lasted two full hours. CPAC is billed as the...

ISIS Sends Mike Pence Congratulations on His New ‘Religious Inquisition’ Task Force

//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA -- ISIS has issued a statement this morning, congratulating Vice President Mike Pence on the religious freedom task force started by the Trump administration this week. "Dear Vice President Imam Pence," the letter...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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