WHORELANDO, FLORIDA -- In what can surely be described as a truly unforeseen turn of events, Mickey and Minnie Mouse have files papers in Florida district court, suing their employer.
MORE: Redskins Rename Themselves to Honor Those Offended by Team’s...
ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG TOWN, TEXAS -- Scott Scooterson is a self-described "selfish fuck." It's important to understand that, Scott says, if you're going to be his friend, or associate with him in any way.
"I always, always look out for myself...
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This weekend, Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Trinity, Inc's CEO Larry "God" Schumway, was brushing his holy teeth, and saw something he told friends and colleagues was "really crazy" and that he'd never seen...
DISAPPOINTMENT GULCH, ARIZONA -- In an interview with Couples Weekly, Tabitha and Mick Garrison -- married since August 2002 -- said that their recent sexual activity with one another was going, according to Tabatha, "really, really well," but then...
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Doctors with the Centers for Disease Control issued new guidance this morning, urging those who chronically masturbate to "immediately consider" replacing their normal "jack lube" with "an antimicrobial or hand sanitizer" until the COVID-19 outbreak has...
HOBOKEN, NEVADA -- Chad and Beverly Thompson just want to see even a modicum of respect and thankfulness from their four kids -- Bethany, Chad Jr, Gidget, and Mitch -- but, frankly, they're starting to lose hope that'll ever...
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND -- The World Health Organization issued an urgent advisory to all human beings on planet Earth, pleading with them to consider limiting all human centipedes to seven people at a maximum. The WHO's new announcement comes as...
LA VALLE SIN ROPA, CALIFORNIA -- Nate Robertson is a 45 year old self-described "perv" whose biggest thrill in life is watching you take a shower. The key, he says, is you not knowing he's watching you take a...
BECKY FALLS, MINNESOTA -- 43-year old Christina "Christy" Tomjanovich is judging the ever loving hell out of that shopping cart you're pushing. To be fair to Christy, she always judges what's in people's carts. Whether it's because they're buying...
CALIFORNIA -- This week, under mounting pressure from a potential pandemic outbreak of the novel coronavirus, the organizers of the Coachella music and arts festival postponed the event, moving the dates from April to October. It came during a...
