Tag: satirist

Selfish Fuck Oppressed by Polite Request to Wear Face Mask in Public

ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG TOWN, TEXAS — Scott Scooterson is a self-described “selfish fuck.” It’s important ...

Jesus Sees Image of Potato Chip in Bathroom Mirror

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — This weekend, Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Trinity, Inc’s ...

Local Couple: Sex Was Really Good Until Husband Got Involved

DISAPPOINTMENT GULCH, ARIZONA — In an interview with Couples Weekly, Tabitha and Mick Garrison ...

CDC Suggests Chronic Masturbators Replace Regular Lube With Hand Sanitizer

ATLANTA, GEORGIA — Doctors with the Centers for Disease Control issued new guidance this ...

WHO Strongly Cautions Against Human Centipedes of More Than 7 People

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND — The World Health Organization issued an urgent advisory to all human ...

Local Woman Totally Judging What’s In Your Coronavirus Quarantine Preparation Shopping Cart

BECKY FALLS, MINNESOTA — 43-year old Christina “Christy” Tomjanovich is judging the ever loving ...

Postponed Coachella Will Now Offer $1200 Boutique Coronavirus Testing Tent

CALIFORNIA — This week, under mounting pressure from a potential pandemic outbreak of the ...