Saturday, October 1, 2022

White House

Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence he currently calls home. With a stroke of his pen, and the exchange of nearly $670 trillion, Biden's home will...

Biden Tells Engineers They Can Reinstall White House Ramps and Stairs Now

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has authorized White House engineers to reinstall ramps and stairways that the previous occupant was, according to documents published today, "too much of a chickenshit coward" to ascend or descend. "As you know, when...

Biden: The Oval Office Desk Chair Still Smells Like KFC Farts

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has been in office for more than 100 days now, but there's still one thing that hasn't quite made the transition from his predecessor's administration to his own -- the way the chair...

No More Diet Cokes or Adderall at the Push of a Button in Biden’s White House

WASHINGTON D.C. -- Amongst the many changes being made in the Oval Office, White House officials confirmed the removal of Donald Trumps “Diet Coke Button”, and the less visible “Adderall Switch”. The Diet Coke Button, first reported by CNN, was placed...

Biden to Dismantle McDonald’s Kitchen the Previous Administration Installed

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The permanent staff of the White House is a professional unit of workers who is quite used to a change in power resulting in a change of decor. When one president leaves and another enters, the...

Biden Says Nuclear Codes Can No Longer Be ‘Password123’

DELAWARE -- Incoming President-elect Joe Biden told reporters today that Americans should "expect to see a hell of a lot of changes" in their federal government starting January 20th. That's when Biden takes over, officially, and he said he...

White House Staff Asks Biden if He Needs the Presidential High Chair

The incoming Biden administration has been contacted by White House staff and asked if the president-elect will be needing the presidential high chair installed back in December 2015. "Dear President-elect Biden," the letter, obtained by this outlet, opens, "as you...

Stephen Miller Disappointed to Find Out His New Employer Doesn’t Offer Healthcare or 401kkk

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, soon to be former White House senior adviser Stephen Miller received some personally difficult news. Not only will be Mr. Miller soon be looking for a place to inspire and incite an American race...

Can Donald Trump Just Park an RV in the White House Driveway for Four Years?

Recently, our sister publication Alternative Facts published a story we just had to share with you all. It concerns President Trump -- the outgoing, lame duck, one term, permanently impeached commander in chief -- and how close to the White House...

Trump Consoles Himself By Looking Forward to Less Time With ‘Homewrecker’ Jared Kushner

This story first appeared on Alternative Facts. WASHINGTON, D.C. -- To say that President Donald Trump has given "mixed signals" about whether or not he accepts the results of last month's defeat he suffered at the hands of President-elect Joe Biden...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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