Sunday, September 19, 2021

Trump Pressured DOJ to Sue Biden’s Blue States for Hurting His Feelings

Details of the days leading up to and following the 2020 presidential election are still trickling in. Perhaps to not many people’s surprise, the public has learned that the man who lost the election had an extremely tough time accepting his defeat, and in fact likely never has. This morning, a new bombshell report claimed that Trump put pressure on his Department of Justice in the waning days of his presidency to sue every state that didn’t give its Electoral College votes to the former reality-TV game show host.

According to a story published in The National Times Gazette Herald Tribune, in the days and weeks following his stinging defeat, Trump called Bill Barr, who was still Attorney General, and demanded he file “several lawsuits” against the states he lost.

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The former president was outraged, and angry, but most importantly aides say, he was sad. Extremely sad. His feelings had, according to those closest to him, never been so hurt so badly or bigly, and he wanted Barr to make the blue states pay for their gall in defeating him. (The National Times Gazette Herald Tribune)

Barr, according to sources, was not at all interested in suing the states that Biden won, and told Trump so, causing a rift to form in their relationship. Ultimately, Barr would resign his post early, before Trump left office.

Trump’s attorney general told him that he was not at all worried about “99% of the lies” he was asked to tell for the president. However, Barr stopped short of wanting to help Trump steal an election for himself, and told the president as much. Barr apparently suggested that Trump find his First Lady and ask Ivanka to help him “release the stress and pressure,” but she was out of town at the time and Trump didn’t think he could get her to fly back on such short notice. (The National Times Gazette Herald Tribune)

As shocking as they might be, these new reports seem to simply confirm prior reporting about Trump’s mood and actions following his defeat. As reported by sister publication Alternative Facts, just hours after all the votes were cast, and it was obvious that his fate was sealed, Trump announced that his campaign was suing America.

“I HEREBY DECLARE, IN FRONT OF GOD AND VLADIMIR PUTIN THAT I — PRESIDENT DONALD JOHN TRUMP — AM SUING AMERICA,” Trump screamed, “THAT IS EVERY SINGLE, SOLITARY FUCKING STATE. EVEN THE ONES THAT CHOSE ME, BECAUSE CLEARLY THEY DIDN’T CHOOSE ME HARD ENOUGH, AND LIKE, NOBODY SHOWED UP TO BE PART OF MY TRUMP ARMY ON ELECTION DAY, SO FUCK LITERALLY ALL OF YOU STUPID CUNTS!” (AltFacts)

The former president was too busy eating Big Macs while masturbating to old campaign speeches to respond to a request for comment.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.