Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Man Says His Trump Flag Represents ‘Heritage, Not Hate’

CORRIGAN, GEORGIA — In front of Michael Hill’s house flies a massive flag, which he says is there to “show the entire neighborhood what real patriotism looks like.”  It reads:

“TRUMP WON!”

Michael says that he will continue to fly the flag until “Forever President Trump is rightly restored to his throne.”

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“Unless and until then, I will keep using my First Amendment rights to say what I feel is true, even though I don’t have any valid reason to believe it,” Hill said during a recently uploaded rant he recorded from the cab on his 1987 Ford pickup. “Trump won. I know it. I know it in my heart, even if my brain, friends, and even pastor keeps telling me how fucking stupid I sound.”

Last week, Mr. Hill — who is a right-wing social media influencer — appeared on a podcast hosted by Steve Bannon. During the podcast, Hill talked about peoples’ reaction to his “TRUMP WON!” flag.

“I put my flag up in December, before we tried our Plan B insurrection,” Hill explained, “and people have been pretty supportive. Every morning I go out at dawn, blow a bugle, and raise the Trump Won flag. Nobody says anything mean to me. They just smile and laugh.”

Hill paused a moment, thinking.

“I can only assume they’re laughing because they understand how right I am, that Trump won, and Biden cheated,” Michael explained. “I think that’s why they keep shouting ‘YOU’RE IN A CULT!’ to me, too! So that I know what to say to people who think Biden won just because people voted, the votes were counted, and Biden had more!”

If someone does decide to “give any shit” to Michael, he said, he’ll simply point out it’s his right to fly the flag, and that he doesn’t see his Trump Won flag being any different than another controversial banner.

“I’ll tell them the say thing I used to say about my Confederate flag, which I only took down so I could let my Trump flag flap all by itself in the breeze,” Hill said, “my Trump Won flag represents heritage, not hate. Although I technically hate everyone who doesn’t think America should be a right-wing Christian theocracy…but that’s not what this flag is about.”

Michael says that he sees a few similarities between the confederate flag and his Trump Won flag.

“Well, the confederate flag and my Trump Won flag both symbolize a bunch of losers who want to keep pretending they won,” Hill explained, “and what’s the harm in that?”

What exactly is the heritage that his Trump Won flag represents?

“The freedom to believe that no votes should be counted if it makes a Republican sad. It represents the heritage of attacking the U.S. government when you feel extra mad about America changing,” Hill said. “My flag represents what I think is best about America — angry, bitter white people who are too cowardly to just admit they lost and embrace change.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.