Monday, June 14, 2021

Trump to Spend Romantic International Women’s Day With The Woman He Loves Most

PALM BEACH, FLORIDA — According to sources close to the twice impeached, one term president, Donald Trump is planning a romantic day for Ivanka Trump in celebration of International Women’s Day.  Ivanka is said to have put her OnlyFans on hold for the day while Don showers her in gifts and a romantic dinner, specially flown in by his favorite McDonald’s.

“Everyone knows just how special Ivanka is to Donald.” Said the source.  “Unfortunately due to libtarded laws, Donald is unable to date his number one girl, so this is the next best thing.”

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Donald’s affection towards Ivanka is quite widely known.  From sculpting her to his desires with expensive plastic surgeries, to giving her undeserved access to the nation’s top security protocols, he’s never shied away from his feelings. Now that he is out of office, he’s able to shower her in ways that he wasn’t for the past four years.

According to our source, Don plans on buying Ivanka the most expensive webcam on the market, and the McDonald’s buffet is one for the ages.

“If you thought the spread at the Clemson ceremony was impressive, just you wait until you see what he’s got in store for Ivanka,” our source hinted. “He’s already reserved the grand ballroom at Mar-A-Lago, hired Ted Nugent and Kid Rock to serenade her, and commissioned an ice sculpture of her naked bust.  It just oozes class.”

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Our sources have reached out to the Office of Melania Trump for her plans, but have yet to receive any response, though rumors have suggested she plans to spend the day having yet another kidney operation.

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