Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Trump Jr. Not Invited to Thanksgiving With President or Man Who Thinks He’s Still President

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA — Donald Trump Jr. will not be having Thanksgiving dinner with either the current president, or the man who believes he is still president, according to several sources with knowledge of the situation.

It would have been highly unlikely for Trump Jr. to get an invite to the White House to dine with President Biden on Thanksgiving, but it might also surprise one to find out that even the man who holds delusions about still being the president, also would not be eating with Trump Jr on Turkey Day.

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“It’s always hard to say with people that have the personality of a stopped-up toilet and the intellect of what the toilet is stopped-up with, but it seems like Don Jr. is pretty sad about not eating Thanksgiving turkey with any presidents this year,” our source told us under the promise of anonymity.

“Even though his dad hardly ever acknowledges him, never tells Don Jr. he is loved or appreciated, or even ate Thanksgiving dinner with him most of his life, it still stings. I guess Don Jr. thought that the Thanksgivings he had with his dad over the last four years were some kind of sign that his father was warming to him, instead of it just being another photo-op and a chance to look good in front of cameras, like it clearly was.”

Trump Jr. has indicated that if he doesn’t receive in invitation to someone’s Thanksgiving dinner soon, he’ll spend time with people who actually like him.

“And as soon as he finds said people, the ones who tolerate him, it’ll be such a relief for Don Jr. It might be the first time anyone willingly spends time with him. Which is why we understand it may never happen,” our source admitted.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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