Trump Settles For Holographic Wall

A source close to President Trump said that he would be willing to settle for a "Holographic Wall" along the Mexican border.
A source close to President Trump said that he would be willing to settle for a "Holographic Wall" along the Mexican border.

Washington D.C. — Officials close to President have acknowledged that Mr. Trump’s willingness to compromise on a “holographic” version of his proposed wall, the New York Times is reporting today. The aide, who wished to remain anonymous, says the President has gown angry of the lack of progress and has expressed an interest in “exploring whatever it takes” so he doesn’t “look bad.”

“Look, the President is really worried how bad this looks for him,” said the high-level source. “He doesn’t really care if there’s a wall or not. He just wants to look good at any cost.”

Project Projection, as it is being called by the White House, will replace the proposed concrete/metal slat/ramen-built wall with a computer-generated one. A series of 2000 high-definition projectors will aim south towards Mexico and create the illusion of a border wall. The ‘hologram wall’ will be visible from approximately 10 kilometers both north and south of the border and will need 1.21 Gigawatts of power to create the spectacle.




“The idea is that the mere image of a wall will both scare away migrants and satisfy Trump’s base at the same time,” continued the source inside the White House. “And the best part it will only cost a few thousand dollars. The Obamas left a bunch of Best Buy gift cards, so we’re going to use those.”

Critics of Trump’s wall are also skeptical of this new “virtual” one.

“Much like an actual wall across the barren landscape,” said House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer appearing on NBC’s Meet the Press. “a computer creation will also do little to slow illegal immigration to or from the country. This is as unworkable as a real border wall.”

When pressed by host Chuck Todd about why he wouldn’t be comfortable with a wall that wasn’t really there, Representative Hoyer grew noticeably irritated.

“Look, we said no wall. Even an imaginary one. No means no.”

It’s unclear when the “construction” of the imaginary border wall will start, however Best Buy retail locations across the country are gearing up for the potential demand.

James' newest satirical compilation is out now and available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and soon at WalMart.com.

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