Saturday, April 10, 2021

Ron Johnson: “I Shouldn’t Have to Take My Hood and Robes Off to Prove I’m not Racist!”

"What makes me racist is my racist views of non-white people! But I didn't even say any of that stuff on the radio last week!"

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Can Donald Trump Just Park an RV in the White House Driveway for Four Years?

Recently, our sister publication Alternative Facts published a story we just had to share with you all. It concerns President Trump — the outgoing, lame duck, one term, permanently impeached commander in chief — and how close to the White House he’s legally allowed to be, once Joe Biden is sworn in as president.

Since losing the election, Trump’s social media have been a torrent of claims of victory, baseless allegations of fraud, and the occasional rant about how the Big Mac used to be better back in his day.

MORE: The Klan Told Kayleigh McEnany She’s ‘Too Full of Shit’ to Work For Them

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It’s becoming clear that the series finale of Trump’s administration will be its most emotional, and very like pant-shitting-est episode of the show’s entire run.The question remains how desperate the lame duck president will get to hold onto his power, and how violently he will be ejected from the White House.

Rumors have now begun swirling around the Hill, according to sources, that President Trump has begun shopping for RV’s, using funds that were donated to his legal efforts. Reportedly, Trump would like to simply park the RV in the White House driveway prior to January 20th, 2021. Then, when he is asked to vacate the White House, he and his First Lady will simply move into the RV and live there.

“Ivanka hasn’t said whether she’d be okay with living in the RV, but if the president offers her enough of a raise in her allowance,” one source was quoted as saying, “she might just go for it.”

Trump apparently has not expressed any interest in running a shadow, pro-MAGA government from within the RV, he simply just doesn’t want to appear to have been evicted, when he’s the one who’s used to doing the evicting.

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“He’s said on many occasions he knows how the blacks feel now,” one source said, “whatever that means. Nobody wants to ask him, so they avoid talking to him for extended periods of time, before he melts down in a heap of farts, election conspiracy theories, and adderall.”

The question, however, is whether or not what Trump is doing is even legal. Of course, whether or not something is legal rarely causes much pause for President Trump. However, in the interest of public knowledge and discourse, we asked three experts in constitutional law to weigh-in on whether Trump is allowed to simply keep sub-presidenting from an RV in the White House driveway.

None of our experts thought we were asking a serious question, so nobody got back to us. However, we will update this story if and when any of them do contact us with an answer. Until then, our D.C. beat reporter will keep a close eye on the White House driveway.

This story will be updated if necessary.

RELATED: Cruz Warns Democrats Might Try to Steal Future Elections With More Votes than Republicans

RELATED: After Biden is Sworn In, Trump Will Be The 45th Most Intelligent Former President Ever

 

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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