Friday, March 31, 2023

Twitter: MTG Is Allowed One Account Per IQ Point

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Last week, Twitter made headlines when it permanently banned the personal account of a sitting congresspony. Citing her repeated posts that spread COVID-19 disinformation, Twitter announced that they had permanently disabled the personal account of Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA).

Though Greene wasted no time taking to Facebook to register a couple of complaints about her treatment at the hands of Twitter, the social media giant released a written statement today, addressing the issue.

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In the statement, Twitter reiterated that Greene was not removed from their platform for her political views or her support for overthrowing democracy. Rather, it was her COVID misinformation that got her tossed off the site. Twitter also reminded Greene and others that she still has one account left, her official congressional account, and even offered to turn her @mtgreene account back on, if she agreed to have her congressional account shuttered instead.

Below is an excerpt from Twitter’s written statement.

Twitter stands by its initial decision to ban Marjorie Taylor Greene’s personal account from our platform. However, given that we’d rather kick off people who fight Nazis than the actual Nazis themselves, we have found a way to, with a new policy, keep Ms. Greene on our site, and hopefully generating ad revenue from the rage bait she posts. In short, Rep. Greene will be allowed to keep her official House of Representatives account, provided she does not violate our Terms of Service with it.

However, if Ms. Greene wishes to, we can turn her personal account on and disable her official account instead. Unfortunately, however, due to our one account per IQ point policy for white nationalist domestic terrorist users, we cannot allow Ms. Greene to have both accounts active simultaneously.

Representatives from Greene’s office could not be reached for comment.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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