Friday, January 27, 2023

Why Women Can’t Resist Steve Bannon

Washington, D.C. — There’s something about Donald Trump’s former Chief Strategist that women can’t resist and for years, women of all political stripes have sought Steve Bannon’s attention. From his humble beginnings as a Wall Street investment banker, to his ironic stint in a non-comedic role directing 1993 Earth-science experiment Biosphere 2 and dabblings in Hollywood TV sitcoms, and lastly as man who has President Trump’s ear, Steve Bannon has that ‘certain something’ that almost all women want.

“There’s just something about him,” said Audrey Bells of Dallas, TX commenting on a popular Facebook on the topic. “It’s his disheveled look. You know, like he’s a man of the people who knows how to live hard and not take shit from anyone. He’s proof that genius can be everywhere, even if you look like an unkempt, drunken homeless man. And he hates the Jews, which is a plus.”

According to a recent Time Magazine poll published this past December, a whopping 84.5% percent of women know who Steve Bannon is and say they “are keeping a close eye on him.” 11% thought he was actually Donald Trump, while the remaining participants believed that Mr. Bannon was, in fact, Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway.

Steve Bannon has been married three times, each marriage ending in divorce. He is the father of three adult daughters. Mr. Bannon was charged with misdemeanor domestic violence, battery and dissuading a witness in early January 1996, after his second of three wives Mary Louise Piccard accused him of domestic abuse. The charges were later dropped when his now ex-wife did not appear in court. In an article in what Mr. Bannon calls the ‘opposition-party’ The New York Times, Ms. Piccard stated her absence was due to threats made to her by him and his lawyer:

“Mr. Bannon, she said, told her that “if I went to court he and his attorney would make sure that I would be the one who was guilty”… Mr. Bannon’s lawyer, she said, “threatened me,” telling her that if Mr. Bannon went to jail, she “would have no money and no way to support the children.” … Mr. Bannon’s lawyer … denied pressuring her not to testify.”

Ms. Piccard and Mr. Bannon divorced in 1997. During the divorce proceedings, she also stated that he had made antisemitic remarks about choice of schools, saying that he did not want to send his children to The Archer School for Girls because there were too many Jews at the school and Jews raise their children to be “whiny brats”. His third marriage ended in 2009. He started dating Donald Trump in 2016.

“I guess I just like boss men,” continued Ms. Bells. “My first husband was such a pushover. No spine. Kinda like my second one. That’s why I find someone like dreamy Steve, as I call him, so attractive. He takes the bull by the horns and knows how to treat women. I mean, why would so many be after him?”

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is a Media and Cultural editor and writer. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, "Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit." Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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